Know if you are abused

Ask yourself:  Does my boyfriend/girlfriend:
yes  no   1. Call frequently to find out where I am, who I’m with,
or what I’m doing.
yes  no   2. Have to be with me all the time.
yes  no   3. Call me names, insult, or criticize me.
yes  no   4. Act jealous, possessive, or controlling.
yes  no   5. Give orders or make all the decisions.
yes  no   6. Tell me what to wear.
yes  no   7. Get angry very quickly or fight a lot.
yes  no   8. Threaten to hurt me, someone in my family, or themselves.
yes  no   9. Follow me. Show up uninvited.
yes  no   10. Isolate me. Restrict contact with family and friends.
yes  no   11. Want me to stop doing the activities I normally like to do.
yes  no   12. Shove, punch, slap, pinch, kick, hit, strangle, or choke me.
yes  no   13. Touch or kiss me when I don’t want to. Force me to have sex.
yes  no   14. Use alcohol or drugs and pressure me to do it too.
yes  no   15. Refuse to accept that the relationship is over.

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions you are in an abusive relationship. Anyone can be involved with an abuser. It can happen in straight or gay relationships. Both females and males can be victims. In some relationships the abuse only happens once in a while; in others it’s every day.

Know if you are being abused, you might...

• Believe it’s your fault.
• Feel angry, sad, lonely, or confused.
• Feel helpless to stop the abuse.
• Feel threatened, humiliated, or ashamed.
• Worry about what might happen next.
• Feel like you can’t talk to family or friends.
• Be afraid of getting hurt.
• Feel protective of the abuser.
• Feel bad about yourself because the abuser says you are stupid, lazy, ugly, worthless, helpless or crazy.

Know the abuse is not your fault. Know that you can get help.